my room smells like sperm. sweet.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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