Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
