That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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