Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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