No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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