So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
