good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
even my farts smell like vagina
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Your cock deserves a montage
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
