just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
