Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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