So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
