ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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