Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
