The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
