I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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