just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
