I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize