i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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