i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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