just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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