I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize