Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
