whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
