I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
