She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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