Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
