i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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