Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
