I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
