Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
