i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
