I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
