Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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