fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
