What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
