Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
