I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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