I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
