Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
