I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize