break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize