I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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