No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
