Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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