I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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