i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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