You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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