I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
