You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
