did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
