I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this just has baby written all over it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
