I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
