This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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