This girl is more easily done than said...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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