You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
