Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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