My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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