We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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