You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and she was petting her beer can
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
