his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
