I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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