too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
